The time was Noontime. The harsh sunlight penetrated and shamed the thick Yinaga
(burdensome) Forest crowd of tree shades revealing the shadow of Gunment on top the tree, his AK47 rifle firmly fixed in his hands. He looked at the shadow and thought to himself. ‘Is it how warped I looked?’ Then he saw another perspective of the shadow, that of a contemporary hero negotiated with, sent on high profile errands of capture, intimidation of opponents, or other important functions, and begged by elites. He was holding a cherished king, the gun, and muted to himself, Wao! I’m holding the kind of the time, which means I’m greater that the king. This king gives command, which everyone obeys, through me!
The visible way the shadow unexpectedly entered the space makes him wonder whether it has more symbolic implications to his life at the moment or it was just the abrupt change in weather. Was this a game or some premonition, he asked? An answer invaded his thought. The more the violent weather, the violent the more thinking, the forest housing scheme, and the ransom payment! In line with government’s attempt, even failure, to provide housing for the people makes them call their kidnapping den a housing scheme. The presence of violence is the success story of money coming in ordered, neat new rows from the people of government or some family or institution.
Gunment began to feel excited in spite of the fact of a momentary, sometimes enduring, lack of shade and comfort. From lack of awning and from smelly sweat from the heat, comes gold, he thought. Gunment began, as always and daily, to talk to his rifle in muted tunes and then in an audible voice. “You, I mean you, (pointing and caressing the gun) are my government, my bank, my shelter, my food, my friend, the trademark I have come to associate with, my everything. No one comes to me except through your command.” Anytime he says this, he feels relieved of historical burdens of youthful stagnation and stunted social growth. He celebrates the present moments of heroism with relish.
In his free and excited thinking, Gunment did not notice some mamba snakes playing pranks and staring at him with careful detail. He mumbled when he felt something around his legs. These small snakes want to harass a man, he murmured with a consolation that the ways of the snakes are different from his operations and ignored the small and big snakes. Human beings were the threat and target of his being, not snakes.
Gunment also never took cognizance of the sound of an unusual movement, footsteps not normal to forest users, trotting his way. He juddered, shouting “who is that mortuary? Crush the rebel! Who are you to move in the Gunment space and is free inside it?”
He suddenly found himself hurriedly climbing down in a falling motion, laughing and reaching out his warm hands to embrace a rare one of his childhood, the gun firmly held sideways. It was his long-time childhood friend who went for higher education while he opted to make it the gun way. They’ve not met for more than ten years.
“You this acada man, what brought you to the reigning terrain of the gun?” I told you; I will earn higher than you in our chosen professions!” he said with a sense of victory.
Tersoo had tried to convince his friend, Agbootse, that his option of education and office work was superior, self-sustaining, and prestigious than joining a kidnapping group. Agbootse refused and betted that in less than ten years, Tersoo will come looking for his financial help. And now his mind reversed to that discussion as Tersoo come looking for him. Tersoo looked at his friend in his face with both admiration and distrust as he gathered weight and looked healthy against himself who is still in search of a job ten years after his graduation with Bachelor of Art English and Literary Studies degree. He said, replying his friend in triumph eyeing the future.
“I’m winning fair and square! Nice to finally meet with my prodigal friend.”
“How did you beat the checkpoints round about my vicinity without being roped to me, the
Gunment? How will you feel being my refugee? The refugee of Gunment, your friend?”
“Exactly, that’s the name they called you, gunment. How did you come to that kind of name?”
Gunment laughed. “I ask you how come you break the censor’s board to my abode where very few of my lieutenants know? Is my name and function not greater than the one you call government? How did you find your way to this place, and exactly where I own a tree-formed bungalow?”
“Tact and Research. I told you that there is one thing one gets in education that your group won’t offer you. I broke through spaces and beat your security to it except the last group. I told them I am your close friend and have an appointment with you. It was then they called you ‘oga Gunment’ How can you combine words like that?”
Gunment laughed out loud, cough out a sound and quickly appears seven guards with guns; they saluted. He gestures left, right, centre saying, “I have an important visitor, so, make sure no one comes here, right?” They saluted and went away.
Gunment returned to claiming more victory over his friend.
“You see! One flash of sound makes my servants appear. We are in a new feudal era. This is better than tedious research. It might have taken you a hell of time before coming here.” “True!”
“Yea! You may see us metaphorically masquerading as Gunment but there’s no difference. We have power, Gunment power, given to us by…, this is division of labour…, accept it my brother. One sound from me and the world bows.”
“True. I know your name, Agbootse, means “destroyer of family inheritance.” The name seems to ride rough shod over you. But how come you’ve changed name to Gunment. Is it ‘gunment’ or ‘government’? Taking the name ‘government’ would be more respectable for one.”
Gunment laughed widely, a rare laugh in the forest where he holes. In the forest is an ambivalent combination of quickly acquired wealth and dissatisfaction, and a free style living. He looked straight to Tersoo’s face and asked a barrage of questions:
“Is there a difference between Gunment and Government, you acada man?” “Is there a difference between Boko Haram and the Government, acada man?” “Is it not ‘paid and denied’ from Government to us?”
“Are these questions for me alone to answer? Are the questions not too heavy to bear?”
“Yes! You will never understand that there is one spirit between us. God carved out the kindred spirit we operate with in the same way He did that of the Government. Government operates in the public space and that of gunment is in the forest space! We are all in a wealth race, a market that can never run dry! So, what are you talking about?”
“I wonder how, after many years in the forest, you are still thinking in polemic terms!”
“You know that opportunities were denied us, not that we are intellectually incapacitated or that we didn’t try. Life here in the forest is just suitable for the present country we live in. Even politicians are into this business. It is the game of the market. We’re working for the thematic of the world and our politicians are enchanted in participating in the market, just as poor people are into the casino market in our country.”
“Sure?”
“Yes, of course.”
“But the politicians are always denying.”
“And why not deny when the world’s position is not to pay ransom or engage in kidnapping.”
“They firmly deny the allegation.”
“The government can’t crush us! They know that if they try, there will be storm in paradise of earth. They will never tell the public how we get the guns, but…, let’s not open ourselves for public view.”
“In the market, of course. You buy it in the market. I feel some doubt.”
“If you doubt me, I will give one politician a call now. Do you have a job, else I will give you one lucrative job now without an application letter!”
“That’s not true.” Stop overrating yourself and your unethical job.”
“What is unethical about this job. If not for the killings we do, which is necessary for the job to thrive, we would have had one of the kindest jobs in this country.”
“How?”
“We retrieve money owed us by the government, from our fathers to our youth to now! Whoever pays for our forest housing rent, we consider the person to be government. The money we collect belongs to us; it was denied to our forefathers and us. The politicians give the money willingly, being part of the business.”
“This is improper.” Tersoo suddenly developed soul-quake! Nerve lines snap and deep intense feelings mount bumping into one another. A temporary mind black out, such sudden blackout of electricity in the country. Recovering was gradual.
Tersoo began to think in other ways including his rating of politicians and the government. As if reading his mind, Gunment dialed a number and it was received. He set the volume on loudspeaker:
“Hello, say it fast, what is it? Any problem?” asked the voice
“I need a lucrative job in the oil sector for my friend now, not tomorrow!” requested Gunment.
“Simple. Just send a text providing his name and type of qualification. You will have it in a couple of hours.”
“Good. It’s the normal trust. I hail you.”
“Wait. Don’t hang up. Have you kidnapped the…the….
“Oga, trust me. He is in my net. When are you coming to get him do the signing or are you sending these your rude boys?’
“No! I don’t want it to look as if I have a hand in it. Tape his voice that he is doing it voluntarily and get him to write legibly.’’
“Consider it done, Oga” Gunment hang the phone. He looked at his friend who seem shockdecked and shivering.
Tense nerves. Deep scurrying feelings crashed into one another. Another mind blackout. For some time Tersoo did not speak, a visible tussle between Heaven and Hell ravaging his mind. Gunment noticed the unending shock and touched Tersoo by his shoulders.
“My friend, this is the life in this space. You will die thinking in God’s direction but His heritage is elsewhere, heavenly heritage is it, in heaven, not earth. You see why I won the bet? I told you that you will come looking for me and you struggled through the dangerous thick and thin forest to find me” He laughed derisively.
“I still want to implore you to abandon this dirty job,” Tersoo said emphatically.
“My medicine man has not seen any forewarning for me. And there is nothing dirty about the job. I rely heavily on this earthly proprietor of paradise, the medicine man.”
“You see! That’s the façade you’re into, a terrible façade. You’re in a dangerous blessing, like our country full of oil wealth yet unmoving.”
“Are you taking up the oil company job or not? These are changing times and we must move along. Aren’t you thirsty for success as before? The job is surely a lucrative one.”
A text message entered Gunment’s phone; he opened and exclaimed, reading out, ““Junior Staff Establishment Manager, Shell Petroleum Company Ltd,” that’s where they’ve offered you appointment!”
“I’m not interested” Tersoo said emphatically, a sting of pride and disappointment mixed in his mood. He has read Ayi Kwei Armah’s The Beautyful Ones are not yet Born, and the scenario seem to be reenacted here. Acclaimed truth mixes with guilt, struggling and denting each other. He finally managed to say:
“I am interested in your finding something worthwhile to do than kidnapping and killing to make money. I have a premonition that you will…
“I will what?”
“Be killed sooner than you think yourself a hero.”
“You don’t know what names we give ourselves in the forest. We call ourselves heroes in the mortuary waiting to be buried. But if the government cannot be buried completely, being comatose, then one, two, or hundreds of us buried by whatever accident cannot kill the job in so far as the measurement indices for it exist.”
“Don’t mention your comparism with the government! You are talking about both the leaders and the led here! The government is a formal, respected, and institutional body in service to the people.”
“Gunmen, a corporate body which I take their name, and Government, also a market force, are all the same,” Gunment blurted and continued, “If one kills quickly by the gun, the other kills slowly by policies. So, which killing is more painful? I tell you, there is a great difference between state pirates who rule, raid, and ruin than ones collecting and returning the stipends to better use within our space. We are here in this country and not eyeing Dubai. As you moan the doom, we envisage a state collapse and our corporate body don’t want to lose out. There’s connivance and brutal rape threatening to sink our ship and the perpetrators will return to their new chosen home ships. This place is a rentier place with rentier mentality We also have leaders that I am and the led which those that escort you are. There’s no difference, my friend!”
Tersoo submitted in disappointment and announced “I am going.” He now feels his friend’s intelligence has not eluded him to his new profession. He recollected how no matter how hard he tries; he will come only next to Agbootse in the examinations. But how could the world be full of ambivalence, incongruity, and uncertainties swapping strongly held values for alien ones, he thought. Tersoo felt temporary dreaming of death. He died dreaming he was dead, a losing feeling filtering his landscape. He dreamt of dying and living and dying in living.
“What did you come to do actually? Have I offended you?” asked Gunment.
“We have never offended each other since our youthful days. I come to tell you to follow me home instead of sleeping on top trees so that we may venture into agriculture and earn a genuine living.”
“Agri-what? I am under the power of the gun which commands the highly placed to obey, begging. What comfort is lost sleeping from one tree to another in the forest is fully gained in the recompense of millions from customers. The world is in a customer relationship and agriculture is merely survival job in our place. No right-thinking person in his youthful ambitious state would think that kind of retrogression, my acada man.”
“You need to think of a legitimate work to do and have a genuine living free of fear of arrest or death. What you are into amounts to vanity, greed, and dodgy dealings.”
“Who is free in this world, acada man? What you call legitimate is defined by its owner.” “Make life worthy of itself in its decency. Make a living that is genuine,” Tersoo retorted. Gunment laughed louder than before as he teased Tersoo. He asked:
“Which living is not genuine? You amuse me. I’m sure you wish to remain as poor as our parents trained us about standards of worthy living. Every generation carve out its niche for itself, and this generation is one of great dreams, though of uncertain living but, is positively full of feudal attitude. This is the standard working document. You can’t miss it!”
Not convinced but still unsure of himself, Tersoo said, his head down:
“I still insist about our going home. Think how homecoming will be sweet for the family and the community. I have a premonition that is both terrible and tragic.”
“We signed for tragedy before getting the job. Only heroes end tragically. Think now, I could solve all the immediate problems of my family and even immediate community in so short a time of ten years. I could give you a job at my dial of a number. I could be contacted by the high in society. Am I not a hero of the village? Am I not equal to the heroes of time past we learnt in school or ones you influenced me about like Beowulf? Certainly, time for the songs of innocence is gone and replaced by hard times and hard hearts singing songs of experience.”
“The premonition was so pronounced and insistent that I cannot ignore, my friend,” Tersoo said not minding he was been defeated by one who abandoned education for a dirty job.
“Presentiments come and go but the life of one on this job is lived in each minute of life. We give ourselves names like ‘mortuary,’ ‘corpse,’ ‘funeral parlour’ even ‘dead bodi.’Don’t worry, my friend,” Gunment pressed further.
“I am going” Tersoo announced abruptly to the revulsion of Gunment who felt winning the logic war above an acada one equates to winning millions from the world forced to shelter in the forest and make payment for their release. The world is a market for those who understand the logic and wicked for those who still think of static values long outclassed by the thematic of modernity.
“I’m sorry not to offer you any drink. We are still awaiting delivery not that I am stingy, you know. Well, since you insist to go, I will give you five million, a portion of the money I got only a few minutes before you came, to help sort out your challenges.”
“No. I am okay.” My desire is that you are safe and beneficial to your family and society. You know very well that you can’t walk in the open and the security agencies are after you day and night.”
Laughs contorted laughter. “Don’t worry over no worries. The security are our friends, partners in the progress of modernity. We know when they are to come for us as we collaborate to make life possible. I am, and will always be helpful. I am preparing a groundwork to helping my community in dire need of water and hospital with the money I get. I feel free, safe, and beneficial. You need to take home some money.”
“No! I’ll get going.”
Not convinced but accepting, Gunment said. “My boys will escort you out of the forest. Tonight, we will be dutifully providing forest shelter, negotiating, and collecting all lump sums from small and big customers. I am going to camp in the forest a big political figure tonight, an opponent and noise maker. We are monitoring his travels and will get him at the right place.” Gunment calls out, “boys? Let the boys escort you.”
“Don’t worry. I can find my way. Your narratives won’t captivate any reasonable person.”
Irritated but not fully showing it, Gunment said “Reasonable is for the owner. You don’t understand. If not that you’re mine, you would find another Great Trek going home, even returning to me as a new catch.”
“I understand that point, but the point I am making is that of your homecoming,” Tersoo chipped in and began to walk away.
Gunment calls out as if to continue where he has been winning the argument but saw that Tersoo wasn’t interested and rather said, “remember, this river is an exclusive place and only those who are mutually exclusive can paddle their canoes in this river. The market of this place is magical, it offers corporate playing field for the rosy and the struggling, and only the magic of the market can help you not to be caught in the twister of power, economy, and or resources. We the major players, both the gunmen and the government have a double chance. Think about it.”
“Well, that is a point to prove” Tersoo said and continued walking, not minding the reply. As he walked hurriedly away, Tersoo was sure that the debate about the successes of antiheroes over heroes will continue. He was convinced that the antihero brand rush will collapse in time against the present negative conditioning of the hero brand.
With Tersoo out of sight, Gunment called out his seven guards and told them that tonight they will be so rich to shop with the president. The guards wondered if they have not heard a similar statement before but regulated themselves, else they will find themselves tied to trees for three days without food.
“Tonight, before the serial operation, I must have a double chance, the women chance and the wealth chance. Three virgins to baptize, three middle aged women to remember old tricks, and three very aged women for the trophy. And you are going to bring them, not here but in the bunk the other way. Right away go. I don’t have much time before the man calls me.”
The leader of the seven guards winked, saluted, and the others followed as they march off to town. The leader wondered why his Oga could mix romance with the serious business of a big catch. One never argues with Oga, else you get incarcerated. It wasn’t his problem for many have broken rules of engagement nowadays but little happened to them.
He told his members. “The beautiful daughters of Goza Village are appropriate target. You two
(Separating them), go and be fast and cool about it. You these two (separating them too), go to Gboko Town and find the numerous middle-aged women. In fact, get the prostitutes waiting for people so that you will not create alarm. And I and you two (pointing to the last two) will not find much problem getting aged women. We will all meet at our usual place in twenty minutes. Note that any delay will be punished” he said and off they moved in different directions on their Bajaj motorcycles.
The bike leading to Goza village speedily and roughly rolled along the bumpy dusty road in consonance with the jumpy motion of the rider, a graduate of Sociology, and his companion, a National Certificate of Education holder.
Demekpe (Allow me to die), one of the guards asked to fetch three virgins said loudly smiling at the back of the bike rider. “I hear that sleeping with virgins give good luck.”
“What will you do if it brings good luck? What is the value of your medicine man?” the other queried.
We will have our share before bringing Oga’s copies. I want to aim at a double chance, the virgin luck and being a millionaire! We will make ourselves millionaires before Oga gives us something!” he stated still in joyous mood.
No reply was obtained and he added “We can assemble all the virgins of a village, baptize them, and become multimillionaires overnight!” Demekpe said excitedly.
“Stupid. Let our leader hear it and you will sleep tied like the forest visitors with little food and contaminated water,” said the other.
“This idea fascinates me. Let us arrange virgins to our bunk and be assured of the luck and the millions!” Demekpe hooted.
“Idiot1 You are thinking idiotically. Think of your colleagues that are gone over small things.
When Oga finds you out, you’re as good as dead!”
“Oga gets powers that we should get and we will stop obeying these orders and get sleeping at our appointed time,” Demekpe pressed on ignoring the derision, The thought of having his maiden arrest, as an independent man, triggered in his mind.
Tall and ambitious, his pride of acquiring millions by himself increased his height and took centre stage in his mind even as he knew that the chances of gaining independence was equal to that of death. He examined his waist, muscle, and legs full of amulets, the trademark tattoos, in addition to thinking of the charms injected or swallowed, and convinced himself that being independent and acquiring millions, a double streak, was realizable.
“Three virgins and the luck” he muttered without a reply. ‘This is our double chance!”
“Stop this nonsense.”
“Three virgins and a prisoner” he reiterated becoming more confident.
“Shut up, you idiot!’
“Three virgins and what (calculating)…three times three…nine million. Wonderful! Three virgins and nine million!”
His partner, riding speedily finally reacted with a tinge of indifference. “It sounds so easy but still remains a promise, equally a smoke screen.”
The discussion ceased. They rode silently onward. They reached the Goza village in quick time and have five minutes to do the operation. They have done more tedious operations in three minutes and this one won’t take much stress. No one disobeys Oga’s command else you become a mortuary.
Demekpe, in ecstasy, shouted, “three virgins and nine million.”
A curious passer-by heard the statement, watched the riders in their reckless throttling and swinging of the bike and wondered whether they were visitors. No resident has such extreme habit that he could remember. Moreover, the spate of killings in the vulnerable villages have thrown residents into interminable mourning not to be in such celebration mood. He took another path to inform the village youth about strange faces talking about ‘virgins and nine million.’ He ran with great enthusiasm shouting out loud:
“Dem don enta,” “dem don enta,””dem don enta” much as to command full attentiveness.
Sooner, the children in the sections of the village were shouting:
“Dem don enta! Dem don enta! Dem don enta” in chorus, attracting more members of their village and the bordering ones to be alert.
The youth assembled in droves and groups in different directions readying for any eventuality, the day of reckoning has come. Even the women came out and stayed by the side tracks of the road to participate as witnesses. There has been incessant raids and killings by unknown gunmen in the village and its environs for more than a decade without the government taming the glitch. Sometimes, the raiders would give the date and hour for their arrival but the security men would come after the gunmen have ravaged and gone, then they will come shouting out “wey them,” “wey them,” “wey them.” Today, all residents swear to die standing.
“I heard Terdoo told Tina told Langa told Joyce that dem don come” said one woman, a child strapped on her back.
“That is what I hear from Mama Doom who got the news from Adeibumegh,” her neighbour chorused.
“Where are they. They better kill us all. Dem no go finis dem business at once? Kill us mek we for die once, all of us.”
“The ting tire me o! Yesterday we grieve for thirty, today dem kill hundred, tomorrow dem kill thousands. Mek dem kuku kill us all at once today, now, now, now, make we stop grieving.”
The bike duo negotiated a corner when sooner they saw Karagbe’s famously beautiful triplets coming home from the market with beautiful baskets full of fruits and other goods. No man could move without offering an attentive stare of admiration to the triplets, more as today they were in birth day clothes celebrating their thirteenth birth day. They have been the toast and talk of the village over their growing period.
“These three will be good for our taste before we look for Oga’s ones. What an opportunity to be grasped” Demekpe opined.
“Shut up and behave yourself. Oga sends you and you send yourself is insubordination and dereliction of duty. I’m not part of it” the other said angrily.
Demekpe climbed down offensively from the bike, hit the gun somewhere abruptly exploding the ammunition and booming sound. He, not minding the attention caused, quickly blocked the side path from the triplets. With a gun threatening, Demekpe forced the triplets to climb the motorcycle, pushing and pulling them toward the bike. The girls struggled in the melee, shouting in earsplitting voices for help.
In a short time, the villagers assembled in droves but were unsure of the next line of action as the gun was threatening.
“I told you to be careful. You this idiot! I told you” Demekpe’s partner said angrily.
The gun fired again to scare the crowd. People dispersed in various directions screaming, calling people, and begging God for help.
“Idiot! You have spoilt the show. I’m not sure we can survive today. Idiot! I told you.” Shouted Demekpe’s partner.
“Don’t worry, the ‘nays’ have it. The ‘aiys’ are nothing! Our guns have its dominant language and when it speaks, all must obey.”
‘Idiot! Climb the bike let’s go. You shouldn’t have wasted all our bullets. This is my last journey with you. Climb the bike” he shouted.
“They don’t know the bullets are exhausted”
“Idiot! They are ex-servicemen among them.”
The ex-soldiers among the villagers hiding in corners behind bushy terrains heard it. They shouted out “gather! Gather! All gather! As if it has been their normal slogan and a crowd of exservicemen and youth gathered in droves. Demekpe was shouting for the bike to be started not knowing that, for the first time, the bike refused to hear the one-time command.
Feeling snared, the bike rider shouted to Demekpe, in make-believe:
“Shoot! You idiot, shoot so we can get safe!’ He started running, not knowing traps of youth groups were stationed in all directions.
Sooner, the Police arrived in a black Hilux van fully armed and demanded to take the arrested kidnappers to custody. The villagers refused and an exchange of verbal and gunpowder fire ensued.
Sooner, the villagers, in their multitudes, joined by the connecting villagers, were heard in a dance of double chance as they march to the village square. A gossip emerged that some ex-servicemen were holding two human heads as they dance ecstatically with youth in the village square, singing:
Winner oo o, winner!
Winner, we don win o, winner!
Kpatakpata we go win again o, winner!
A resounding chorus of ‘We don win! We don! win! We don win! penetrated the atmosphere.
IKYER, GA 
