Navigating adulthood without changing who you are

The world has a way of stealing our innocence and reforming us.

ADULTING is one of the most dreaded words in our universe at the moment. As exciting as the transition into this phase may seem, it comes with its challenges. I feel sorry for us because nothing in life comes without its downsides. Luckily, we can learn to swim and not drown in this vast labyrinth of uncertainty.

Yeah, this is the most uncertain time of our lives. We are gradually weaning off our dependence and every day draws us closer to a total embrace of the life that is unknown to us.

I have gotten to experience this with a very large number of people who are similar and different from me. The common thing is that our fears and joys of growing older are just the same. We wake up to the same question; “what are we doing?”

I am no longer a child and that sucks!

We have to grow, We have to change. it’s nature and we aren’t in control. We can learn to face our fears about this path we are about to take. As you journey into this space, I wonder who you will choose to be. How many shapes will you take? How many forms will you embrace?

Will the world taint your innocent dreams?

Will your mind still be a harbor for beautiful things?

Or will you end up being a shadow of what you never desired to be?

The day I knew that being a grown up wasn’t so rosy, I changed. I was happy about a few things: making certain decisions for myself, doing what I want to do without being questioned, being me for me. I liked the freedom and dreaded the fear that came with the uncertainty of tomorrow. When you begin to stand on your own, you realize that you’ve been shielded from so much harm. The world isn’t a pretty place and now we are at the mercy of hope and fate. Let’s not even talk about the sudden rush of emotions and the constant battle with hormones that make it a confusing journey. Purpose, Finances, Feeling loved and seeking a new meaning to life become the center of your thoughts.  There are days you wake up so angry at yourself and you want to run away from it all. It’s always a lot to handle.

Amidst the chaos, there are moments of clarity and fulfillment that remind me that everything is worth it.

Being Authentic helps us through the ride

In the vast labyrinth of growth, our innocence has been tainted. How do we stay true to ourselves?

Adulthood is the most vulnerable stage of a person. Everything feels new. You’re trying to grasp the concept of things that lay ahead. We only have one chance at life and we all want to get it right. For some of us, God comes into the equation, “A spiritual help” because a lot of things that happen these days seem beyond our control. The unknown is the greatest source of fear amongst young people. Some of us would learn to embrace reality and relish the excitement of not knowing what the future holds. While some would struggle to live up to their true selves.

I’ve tried to be me a lot of times.  I mean leaving the veil behind and presenting a stark version of myself. No mask, no pretense, just me.I am this reserved, overthinking lady. I have dominant and recessive talents. This means that you’ll never see me dance in public though I have solid moves when I am indoors. It was never that way, I guess when you keep listening to the voices around you, you suddenly take up their shape.

Don’t do this. You can’t do that. You should do this instead. I am trying each day to slowly peel off the idea of who I thought I was. Who I was told I was. There is a difference between who you think you are and who you are. We need to learn to stay the same even while changing the parts of us that bring us closer to a fulfilled life. Your purpose is aligned in these things: Dominate, Love, and Grow.

As we mature, societal pressures and personal experiences often compel us to don masks, hiding our true selves beneath layers of conformity. Amidst this complexity, there exists a profound beauty in staying true, cultivating genuine connections, and embracing vulnerability.

This journey to embracing our vulnerability begins with a deep introspection into our innermost selves. It requires a conscious effort to peel away the societal expectations and personal insecurities that have accumulated over the years. For me, this journey began one morning when I became tired of everything that seemed to weigh down on my existence. I want to get out of the shell. I want to do me. I am uncertain of what lies beyond that feeling. However I am ready to embrace this mixture of the unknown and walk down the path to finding purpose in the end.

In the ever existing question of “who am I” and “what am I living for”, I have come to realize that the answer is never provided in a moment. It’s a lifetime discovery. We are multifaceted humans and asking “who am I” is what I call a limitation.

The Authentic Identity

Authenticity is like a compass guiding us toward understanding our identity. When we’re authentic, we’re more honest with ourselves about who we are, what we value, and what we believe. This clarity helps us approach the subject of identity with sincerity, allowing us to explore and embrace all facets of ourselves without fear or pretense.

I like to think that life is a canvas, we are artists. We pick up our paint brushes unsure of where our hearts will lead us. We paint, we hope that the outcome will be as we intend it to be. It’s a process they always say. A journey of self-discovery, not a sudden revelation. It took me some time to realize this. Your identity forms through a series of experiences and the choices you make along the way. It’s about recognizing that you are unique and that your path may differ from others’. I have come to the understanding of who I am. To be honest, it’s hard being you. You have to consciously learn to not allow the entities around you to swim so deep that you lose yourself.

As a creator, I’ve learned that I am not like any other. My style is what makes me stand out. The way I speak, the way I like to pick every detail and have deep thoughts about them. I am used to being called an overthinker. Sometimes I can’t control it. However I’ve noted that I can turn that around for my benefit. Lots of people want a deep dive into your mind. They want something different and unique. This is why you have to open up and give the world what it needs from you. Be Sensational! Be refreshing!

Through introspection and exploration, you can  gradually uncover different facets of yourself – your values, interests, and aspirations. Embracing your identity involves being true to yourself, even if it means challenging norms or facing uncertainty. Norms and the fear of uncertainty is something you have to beat. I believe that I can make very stupid decisions, I can make my mistakes, I can fail at the things I thought I was great at. All that matters is that I don’t stop trying to dissect my very complex humanity.  The more I look deeper, the better I understand what lies inside of me.

Remember, your identity is fluid and can evolve over time as you continue to learn and grow. Embracing it means being open to change and embracing the journey of self-discovery with curiosity and acceptance. Sometimes, you should trust yourself to leap before looking. You’ll make mistakes. That’s how discovery works. That’s how history is made.

In uncertain times, trust yourself, you’re your biggest opp!

In the face of opposition and societal pressures to conform, authenticity serves as a guiding light. It empowers us to stay true to our convictions and principles, even when it’s challenging or unpopular. We are all scared creatures afraid that our next step might lead us down hill. It is in times like this that fighting yourself is important. We have the tendency to run to safety when it feels like we are pushing outside the walls of our home. Our minds being our greatest limitation is created to act on its own. This is why you don’t do the things you want to do. You’re scared of your very huge potential. Who isn’t? The minute you break out of that barrier, you’ve reached a new level! It won’t be easy, you just have to keep pushing.

There’s no sweet words here because faith is what sustains a lot of us. The ones who inspire you had faith in themselves. So embrace the painful process, desire to peel the layers towards discovery, and walk down paths the world says no one can go. This is the way to live and live fully!

To be alive and true

You’ll have to trust. When you’re real, genuine, people tend to trust you more because they know that you’re not playing them. Trust is a treasure these days. When you give people the opportunity to believe in you, you give them hope.  You’ll have to trust yourself and trust that you’ll make it through. You’ll have to trust your choices, even if they end up being mistakes.

You’ll have to be vulnerable. One thing about being vulnerable is that it allows others to know that we’re humans just like them. We are empathetic creatures. Wholly accept that you can feel. You can cry. Don’t allow the pressure of forming “hard guy ” to hold you down. You can share your dreams with people that care. What is life if we can’t be open about the things that truly keep us up at night? Trust comes in again, you’ll have to trust to be vulnerable.

You’ll help others to be themselves too. Have you ever stayed around a free spirited person? Everything they do draws you closer to your inner self . This is how people would feel when they stay close to you. You  create a welcoming environment for others to be themselves, to be free, express their true thoughts and feelings and make them feel accepted.

You’ll build a deeper connection to life and to people. You’ll understand the reason for being. People seek purpose in a world where everything is on auto drive. When you’re able to connect to your deeper self, you’ll be glad to wake up every morning. Life is wonderful. You just need to be in the right space and be the right person.

When you are yourself, other people who are like you are also drawn to you because they understand what it feels like to just be. There are people out there like you. You’re not the only one with these fears, these dreams and this pain. Not everyone is for you but someone is here for you.

Overall, authenticity is not just about being true to oneself, but also about contributing to a more genuine and compassionate world.