“Shalom.”
“What’s that?”
“Peace.”
“Mmh.” I nodded even though I wasn’t sure if Lyra was referring to the calm that comes with the late night ocean breeze or the heavy silence that came with her recent breakup.
“Bear always had something to say about the ocean.” Lyra continued, her eyes following every single vibration of the wave.
“What’s that?” My hand found hers, giving it a gentle squeeze that tightened as seedlings of tears streamed down her face, blooming warm flowers on my fingers.
“The green hills remain forever young…a-and the flowing water lasts for eternity…”
I assume silence, waiting for her to continue after a short break from crying a river in my arms.
“He said our love was like that but today, I’m reminded that I would never be as beautiful and young as the green hills, and our love has hit a dead calm.” Lyra smiled, but I knew she wasn’t done.
“He left me, unlike he said he would. Vulnerable, so vulnerable that a slight whiff of the wind can blow me away. So vulnerable I’m fully clothed but naked. Now I’m left to question my worth.”
“Lyra…”
“Stop. I know what you’re about to say. That Bear didn’t leave me because our love has ended, and that this might be a new beginning for me. But what new beginning does a person who has been bound for hell have?” Lyra shook her head and tears followed.
“I know, over the months my mental state deteriorated and I became a little too much, but Bear knows this. He loved me and my flaws. But what now? He cannot do this anymore? My depressive state is no longer cute because he’s seeing the ugly parts? He saw my naked soul and rebuked me.”
“Come here girl.” I pull Lyra into my arms, hypnotizing her with the sound of my heartbeat. The heart that beats for her.
“I just want to be somebody’s too much.” Lyra buried her face closer into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her, patting her to sleep.
“The stars and planets may shift, but their dance continues eternally.” If I had a chance with Lyra, that’s what I would have told her our love stands for. The greens may wither and die due to seasonal changes or other measly factors and a new large water body may dry up due to unforeseen situations, but the planets never stop dancing around the sun. And if they shift, they come back better.
But with time, the courage died within me. Now I just want to stay by her side and protect her from the world. One must wonder why I live for her, but it’s for my own selfish reason. I exist because she does and if she ever passes on, I have no will or reason to exist. Keeping Lyla alive is keeping me alive.
You know what they call “feeble minded people” like us? Weak, ugly and naked.
Weak because we’re emotionally dependent on one. Ugly because our mental health has hit rock bottom and we cling onto a piece of rock or a ragged doll from our childhood to tolerate living, and naked because of our vulnerable state, that renders us out open for predators to feast on our souls festering in our seemingly attractive body.
Lyla may never hear tales of how much I love her but my actions will always tell because we are ugly, naked people, our actions speak louder than words.
We are weak and ugly because we’re devoted to the one and render our lives to pouring beautiful affection into our relationships, and we are naked because we are sensitive, your pain is my pain and your happiness is my happiness. If you hurt, I hurt a thousand times, and if you’re happy, my joy knows no bounds.
How dare I mouth insignificant words when my actions tell tales of my undying love?
And if you ever break me, I will come running whenever you mouth my name. I know this because I and Lyla fell off many times and because three weeks later, Bear came running his mouth ceaselessly like a tap that ran out of control and Lyla embraced him in tears.
I also know that my heart is shattered into a hundred pieces but if you look closely you can see tiny webs of affection that clings onto the broken pieces, threatening to keep them from falling apart so whenever Lyla comes back, I can pretend I was never broken.
Ade 
